


The essence of a flower

by Sneakend



Category: One Piece
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, BDSM, Bondage, Dom/sub, Ensemble Cast, Established Relationship, F/M, Femdom, First Time, M/M, Open Relationships, Post-Dressrosa, Safewords, Sub Law
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 16:54:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17605223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sneakend/pseuds/Sneakend
Summary: Dressrosa is safe, Doflamingo defeated and they're all still more or less alive. But because life never gives him a break, Law's already got new problems to worry about. Luckily, Robin's there to offer a helping hand.





	The essence of a flower

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote most of this ages ago, but never got around to posting it. I'm not all caught up on canon so no spoilers for Wano.
> 
> The feelings are mostly between Kid & Law whereas the sex happens between Robin & Law.

Law's had an uneasy, nagging feeling ever since they set sail for Zou, perhaps even before that. At first, he thinks it's simply the lingering anxiety over everything they went through in Dressrosa or simple disbelief that they – well, mostly Luffy - had managed to defeat Doflamingo and survive the ordeal. Or, he reckons, it's just worry over his crew that he's been separated from for far too long and now that he's going back to them (against all odds), he suddenly finds he feels doubly responsible for them.

Robin notices, of course; she is the sharpest and most observant of the Straw Hats and it’s been obvious from the beginning that she oughtn’t to be underestimated. She approaches him when he's brooding on the deck, not joining in on the others' celebration. He declines her offer of companionship, and she simply smiles, not easily thrown out of balance. The truth is, Law would love to have someone ease his worries, but since even he doesn't know their exact source he doubts talking to Robin would help. On the contrary, it's possible her love for the macabre would simply manage to dredge up horrors he hasn't even considered yet.

When they get to Zou, it's not what any of them had expected, yet despite all the trouble Law finds himself relaxing slightly, his crew is all there and they're all healthy and safe. And simply seeing Bepo's reaction to his return makes him glad that he didn't die after all. It makes him feel less alone, reminds him that he has people who depend on him now. And much as his past defines him, he can feel it relax its iron grip on him just a little. _Free_ , Cora had wanted him to be free. Not yet, though, not yet. Doflamingo is still alive and his haunting presence in the world will perhaps always anchor Law somewhere in the muddy waters of the past. But he also dares to think about the future much further now, beyond _when I deal with Doflamingo for good_. He lets himself focus on his own crew for a while, not getting too wrapped up in the internal feuds of the Straw Hats - they may be allies, but they're not family.

He's got enough family as it is. Not only his crew, no, now he also has someone he thought would only be a fleeting acquaintance on his journey, a few nights' fun and a distraction from his existential misery, but somewhere along the way, he'd grown to matter more than that. And maybe this gnawing uneasiness is in part because of that. Although Eustass is more than capable of taking care of himself and doesn’t need someone fussing over his well-being and whereabouts, Law is sure he'd love to hear the detailed version of what went on in Dressrosa. The newspapers don't have time for all the details and twist even the stories they manage to fit in. But for now, he should know that Law is alive.

Not that his self-destructive plan was something he had informed others about. It had been between him and Cora-san's ghost, whose disapproval he was sure he could feel even beyond the grave. _I'm doing this for you_ , he has been telling the empty walls of his room for a decade but he knows that really, he'd been doing it for himself. The dead don't care, he knows it to be true. It makes him feel cold and lonely. His revenge has just left another empty void inside him somewhere in the space that used to be reserved for Cora-san. Time and time again he's surprised himself with his capacity for love. After Flevance he'd thought himself dead inside but Cora-san had proved him wrong. So had his crew. And though it had taken years, that dumbass Eustass has swaggered onto his life as if to prove Law wrong about himself again.

There’s also Luffy, who’s entirely unexpected and impossible and a huge proponent of embracing your connections to people who are actually living. He’d never been part of Law’s plan but, ironically, had been the very thing that enabled it to work in the end. Law’s hesitant to include him on the list of people he loves, for now, but even he admits that Luffy is almost impossible to dislike. And there might be something to be learned from his easy-going character. Law’s also grateful, in a way he doesn’t know how to express or pay back, which in turn makes him feel vaguely guilty that he hasn’t informed any of the Straw Hats about his liaison with Eustass and his crew. They’re forgiving though, so maybe that can wait. Or so he tells himself.

They don't exactly leave Zou the way they planned, Luffy making the decision to break his own crew in half and thrust one half upon Law. These are really not the people he'd most want to spend time with, at all. His mind wanders to his last rendezvous with Eustass and he sighs. It had been over half a year ago now and they've discreetly stayed in touch, but neither has updated the other on any detailed plans regarding the future. Simply thinking about it makes him feel an uncertain sense of urgency and he vows to ask his crew whether there's been any contact from the other ship while he's been away. Half of the Straw Hat crew is all but ready to depart and go save their cook, and Law tries to keep his own eagerness to return to the submarine hidden. He's not a child yet he finds himself shifting his weight from one foot to the other, wishing they could leave already. He's not looking forward to having nearly ten extra people on his ship - space is a rare commodity even at the best of times - but he owes Luffy more than his life and these people will be instrumental in taking down Kaido. Still, he has the feeling that the concept of privacy is not something this crew is closely acquainted with.

Robin materializes next to him, making his heart skip a beat. She smirks at him as if knowing he had not been paying attention to his surroundings. Her silence is an assassin's silence, all learned through trial and error during a childhood spent on the run, something Law can relate to, easily enough. Yet it reminds him of Cora too, as all silences tend to do. His had been an unnatural silence, almost a vacuum in a place where a sound should've existed. He's not sure Cora could've ever learned his and Robin's kinda silence, he'd been too clumsy, too full of life, never truly alone. _Devil's fruits are not magic_ , Cora had said. But Law had been small and Cora's ability had felt like magic then. And later his own, more like a curse, but curses are magic too. And watching Robin sprout arms from a mountainside? He'd call that magic, except he's twenty-six and even at thirteen he would've rather died than voiced a thought like that out loud.

"Ready to go?" She asks him in a self-satisfied tone that says _I've been watching you_. A lot of her questions are observations rather than actual inquiries.

He just lets out a noncommittal hum and watches Luffy plunge into empty air with his chosen crew, their screams piercing through the quiet afternoon and probably carrying miles out to the sea as they depart Zou. _They're all crazy_ , he thinks, turning on his heel and heading for his ship. "Let's go."

 

* * *

 

As predicted, the ship is more claustrophobic than ever with the new, albeit temporary, additions to the crew. And their numbers feel twice the size since it seems Luffy likes to go for loud and rambunctious when picking crew members - something Law takes almost personal offence to. But in a way their clamoring reminds him of another larger than life personality who, as it happens, has never set a foot on Law's ship.

"Bepo," he calls to the polar bear who's trying to settle some kind of feud between Usopp and Penguin.

"Captain!" Bepo jogs to his side, relieved to be given an excuse to flee the scene of the crime. "The one who broke a bag of flour in the engine room wasn't me!"

"Flour…? Never mind that, have we had any contact with Eustass' crew? I thought he'd have called for an update by now." He refuses to get his feelings hurt if that is not the case. They both have other priorities, he can live without being doted on.

Bepo stares at him dumbfounded before vehemently shaking his head. "No, no! No one has called. Not even… him."

Bepo's nose twitches irritably and he sounds very put out as he always does when this topic comes up, Law observes fondly. There is no love lost between his and Eustass' crews, that much he realizes. It is a great source of amusement to him, how his crew doesn't want to outright insult his choices yet always finds new ways to bring up their dissatisfaction with the situation.

"Never mind then, I'll contact them myself. And let you get back to your… whatever that was." He waves a hand vaguely towards Usopp while already walking away.

Bepo salutes him awkwardly before returning to his earlier task.

 

* * *

 

It's a courtesy call, Law tells himself as he dials the number in the Den Den Mushi. Any extra men - or women, but Eustass actually doesn't have any of those in his crew - would come in handy in the battle against Kaido and though they have no obligation to help each other, he's more than certain he can persuade them to come and help. The Den Den Mushi rings for a long time, long enough that he's about to give up the task as futile and try again later when someone picks up.

"This is really not a good time!" hisses a voice, unmistakably Killer's, in the receiver.

"Killer? Is something the matter?" he asks, stupidly, since something is clearly the matter. Killer is usually the last to lose his composure, priding himself in basically being the opposite of his hot-headed captain.

"Trafalgar? Is that you?"

Law lets out an affirmative, him and Killer have probably never had a conversation just the two of them and he feels like this being the first doesn't bode well for either of them. Not if the edge of desperation in Killer's voice is anything to go by. He's afraid to ask, to shatter any semblance of peace he’s managed to scrape together since Dressrosa. But he has to, knows he has to. He closes his eyes, inhales, takes one last moment to revel in the knowledge that at least they beat Doflamingo, whatever happens he no longer has to worry about that particular nuisance.

"Where is Eustass," he asks. It comes out flat, not really a question at all, Robin would be proud of him. It feels like standing on a cliff, knowing this is what you've prepared for but still not being ready. He grits his teeth and squeezes the receiver like a lifeline. Something is badly wrong. He doesn't want to know. But he wants Killer to say it.

"About that… Kaido's got him." He can hear a moment of hesitation from Killer's end like he's deciding on what to say or steeling himself to it. "I don't know if he's still alive."

That one makes Law’s stomach drop. Of course he's alive! They hadn't even said goodbye, just _till next time_ , so certain there always would be next time. The anxiety that's been building rivets up, making his knees weak. He grips the edge of the table, determined to stay upright. He's not sure what he had expected but this is not it. Eustass has always been proficient at getting himself in trouble, but this is a new high even for him.

"What do you mean Kaido's got him! I thought you were going after Shanks!" None of it makes any sense. He feels like he's swept to a free fall off Zou but he can't trust anyone to catch him before he hits the water and drowns.

"Well, it didn't exactly go according to plan!" Killer hisses back, sounding stressed but clearly trying to keep his voice down. "Kaido attacked us and Kid, he… ah…"

If he didn't know better, Law could've sworn Killer was sniffling. He feels surreal, tries to picture Killer crying and realizes he's never even seen the man's face. He doesn't know what to say, everything sounding like platitudes in his head, so he remains silent, waiting for Killer to just say it.

"He fought Kaido so we could escape and he lost, obviously… Kaido, he must've taken Kid. Yeah."

After that, they share the silence that descends and Law tries to think. That's always been his best weapon, better than any sword or even his devil's fruit. But he's coming up empty. He clears his throat, licks his lips.

"I think if he was dead, I'd know it. It'd feel… different." He feels foolish before he even finishes saying it. How stupid is he? Does he believe in special connections and true love now? He entirely expects Killer to scoff at him for being a sentimental fool.

"I think so too. That means he must be alive." Killer's voice sounds more determined now, like this is something he chooses to believe in, all else be damned. Law thinks about how wrapped up in Eustass' life Killer's own must be, how inseparable those two are. Law knows he needs a purpose, an most likely so does Killer. And he refuses to let there be another Cora-san in his life. Eustass is different, and therefore he will not suffer the same fate. The only way to sway his own panic is to take the reins and reassure Killer, who sounds like he wants to be told it'll be okay. Even if he'd never admit it or actually ask for help.

"Where are you now? We're heading for Wano, if Kaido has him then that's where he'll be." He does his best to sound certain. Because Eustass has to be alive. And he has to be in Wano so that Law can get to him before it's too late.

"You're going to help get him back?" There's a healthy dose of skepticism in Killer's voice and Law feels a twinge of guilt. Is that how low an opinion they have of him, really?

"I know we're not in a pirate alliance…" he starts.

"Yeah, just a fuck alliance," interrupts Killer, in dry tones.

Law finds himself snorting, feeling almost hysterical. _Fuck alliance_ is what Eustass had called it, crude as ever and always eager to make his crew as uncomfortable as possible. The man seemed to consider obscenity a virtue and an achievement.

“Regardless,” he breathes into the receiver once he’s managed to stifle his laughter, “there is absolutely no way I’d let you idiots plan his rescue without me. You don’t have to like me, but you do need me.”

There’s a long pause from Killer’s end. “Guess we could use some extra help. You aren’t the dumbest person I’ve met.”

That’s high praise coming from someone like Killer. It’s ironic that Eustass is able to broker some kind of peace between them when he’s usually the one starting the fights.

“I’ll call you back later. We’ll arrange a rendezvous.” He thinks it’s probably best not to drop the news that they’re now allied with the Straw Hats just yet. Not like it’ll stay secret for long.

“Fine. I’ll be here.” And with that Killer hangs up.

Law places the receiver back down. He feels like he’s managed to reassure Killer somewhat, give the other man some hope in this bleak situation, but now that he’s alone with his thoughts the gravity of the news start to sink in. He finally lets himself slump to the floor, his back against the leg of the table, and lifts up one shaking hand. He’s a surgeon, one of the best there is, and steady hands come with the territory. Like this? He’d be useless. He closes his eyes in hopes of blocking it out, but he can still feel it, a tremor working itself through his whole body as if looking for an opening it can use to make him fall apart altogether. _Not going to happen_ , he reassures himself, but even the voice in his head doesn’t sound certain.

He does his best to calm down, to regulate his breathing. He shouldn’t care this much, not about Eustass of all people. And yet he can’t think of a single thing to distract himself from this fear that once again it’s all already over before it has even begun. He's beside himself with worry and he knows he'd find it embarrassing if this panic wasn't overriding his usual defenses. However, right now, exactly this is the most enormous thing in the world, the encompassing dread keeping him from breathing. He doesn't want to let it show, doesn't want to risk someone walking into the room and seeing like this, curled up on the floor and entirely pathetic.

Though would it really matter if they found out his greatest weakness? The worst has already happened. _Not the worst_ , his mind whispers, _not yet, not yet_. He sincerely hopes that's true. Would pray for that if he knew someone who'd listen. He feels completely, absolutely adrift even though the ship’s not even noticeably moving. He's been alone before and survived. But for a long time now there'd been that something, someone tethering him to reality. Giving him purpose. Though their time together has always been limited in the past - and all the more precious for it - the anticipation for their next meeting had done much to ground him. As had the simple knowledge that out there, somewhere was someone who had his best interests in mind.

 _Calm down_ , he tells himself, _Eustass is strong, perhaps the strongest person you've ever met_. _Have faith in him_. Trust. A concept entirely foreign to him for so much of his life, yet he'd found it in the strangest place; Eustass who was always arrogant, always loud, always dangerous. But above all, always safe. A place for Law to let go and know he'd be looked after and appreciated. Love and dedication communicated by crude words and a voice unused to tenderness. And now he’s locked away from Law, possibly forever. And that's probably the worst part, the thing that opens an empty yawning chasm of dread inside him. Because it could be too late already. He closes his eyes, tries to breathe, but his nerves are wired high and he feels like he's coming out of his own skin.

He gets up fast enough that his vision swims and turns swiftly on his heels, determined to do something. Hide. Plot. Act. He'll beg the Straw Hats for help if he has to. He sincerely hopes he doesn't have to, but he will, for this one thing. He grits his teeth, eyes glued to the floor, entirely in his own mind when he almost runs into Robin, standing there, head slightly cocked to the side. She watches him, sloe-eyed, that face sharp with intelligence and suddenly he knows that she knows. With her skill, there's little privacy on the ship, but he doesn't have the capacity to feel anything over something as trivial as eavesdropping, not right now, maybe not ever.

"Sorry," he mumbles and tries to twist around her but she reaches a hand out, grabs his arm. Probably the first time she's touched him.

"Trafalgar," is all she says.

He lifts his eyes to meet hers, just for an instant, and knows that she's dangerous. And safe. He lets out a little sigh, feels a tiny bit of tension leak out of his muscles and lowers his eyes again. Robin holds on for a moment longer, then lets go without further comment. He stands there, suddenly unsure.

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from Mishima Yukio:
> 
> _"A small night storm blows_  
>  _Saying 'falling is the essence of a flower'_  
>  _Preceding those who hesitate"_


End file.
